All story: The Snakeman!
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The Snakeman!

Monday, 11 June 2012


Snakes! Snakes! Snakes!
BJ knew more about snakes than anyone.That's why people called him 'The Snakeman'. Snakes were all he ever thought about! That's all he ever did!
When other kids played tag, BJ caught snakes. When other kids watched cartoons, BJ watched 'Snake World'.Even when other kids were fast asleep, dreaming about things like baseball, roller skating or chocolate coated ice cream, BJ was smiling, talking in his sleep about snakes!

All the kids thought BJ was weird, so they stayed away from him."Let's face it," they said, "snakes are yuck! . . . and BJ is double yuck! "

What made things worse, was that BJ felt like a failure at school too.
Take math, for instance. When his teacher Miss Beetlebottom asked him, "If three bunnies follow six bunnies into a hole, how many bunnies are together?", BJ would squint his eyes, and try to rev up his brain."Bunnies? Bunnies?", BJ would think. "What do I know about bunnies? Ask me what's bigger than a Boa Constrictor! Ask me what's deadlier than a Gaboon Viper! But for Pete's sake, don't ask me about bunnies!"

And so the class bell would ring and BJ still wouldn't have the answer. Everyone always laughed at BJ. But one day , the laughing stopped. Matter of fact, things got serious.
It all started during story writing, when Miss Beetlebottom announced, "Boys and Girls, I want you to write a story about butterflies. Just let your imaginations go wild! Let's have lots of flitter flutter!

Right away, everyone started writing. Everyone but BJ, that is!
He scratched his head, and he stared at the blank sheet of paper . BJ could imagine a sidewinder in the desert. He could imagine a sea snake in the ocean, but absolutely NOTHING came to mind when he tried to imagine a story about something that went flitter flutter!
Miss Beetlebottom looked right at BJ and shook her head in disapproval.As the bell rang for recess, Miss Beetlebottom snapped at BJ, "You're not moving till I see a butterfly story, young man!"
BJ sighed and lowered his head.
All the other kids were giggling as they left the room.

But the giggling stopped as BJ's classmates entered the schoolyard. They all froze in terror! Right smack in front of them was a brown mottled snake. It stood erect, like a deadly cobra, ready to strike!
Miss Beetlebottom, hearing the children's cries, rushed into the schoolyard.The moment she saw the snake, though, Miss Beetlebottom fainted. KERPLUNK!, she fell right on the ground!

Principal Beauregard, better known as 'Bulldog Beauregard', realizing something was wrong, bounded into the schoolyard."AAAIIIIIEEEEEE!!", he yelped, "It's a COBRRRAAAA!!" . Beauregard zoomed back to his office, and hid under his desk. Slithery snakes always gave him the shakes. But the Principal quickly mustered his courage, and called the Fire Department.

The fire department arrived quickly with sirens blowing and bells clanging. They were ready for action! But once they saw the snake, nobody wanted to get off the truck.
Firemen are brave. They're not afraid of smoke. They're not afraid of fire. But they sure didn't like the looks of this s-s-s-s-snake.
This snake was circling the schoolchildren. It flaunted a gaping mouth of razor sharp teeth. It raised up, ready to strike, and hissed everyone into s-s-silent, s-s-scared, s-s-submission.
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The school was in s-s-s-serious trouble. Was there anyone who could help?
Finally little Annie Sue broke the silence. With knees shaking, and teeth chattering, she whispered, "How about BJ? You know, 'The Snakeman' . Maybe he can help!"
The kids looked at each other and nodded, "Yeah!", they said. "How about BJ, 'The Snakeman'? He knows everything about snakes!" Where is he?

Miss Beetlebottom was just beginning to regain consciousness. Hearing the question she pushed herself up on one elbow and muttered, "He's in the classroom," then "PLONK!", she fainted again.
Quickly a brave firefighter leaped off the truck and ran towards the school, finding BJ at his desk.
The firefighter said to BJ, "Son, I don't know why, but everyone seems to think you can help. Come with me! There's a Cobra outside!"BJ raised an inquisitive eyebrow "Did you say COBRA?", he asked, with a funny sort of a smile.
"Why y-y-yes!" stuttered the firefighter.
"I'l take care of it", said BJ.

BJ left the room, muscles pumped, eyes focused, and fists clenched.He strode confidently into the schoolyard, growling, ready for a fight.

The the children went crazy, and began chanting:
"BJ! BJ! BJ! BJ! BJ!"
BJ marched confidently across the schoolyard, and then he stopped, facing the deadly snake head on.
Their eyes locked. Swiftly the snake raised it's head and inhaled, spreading its majestic hood, and then . . .circling . . . it took aim! . . .
Everyone gasped!
With a single, lightning movement, BJ lunged for the snake. Choosing his spot with pinpoint accuracy, he grabbed it around the neck.The snake writhed and twisted for only a moment, then promptly fell over on its back, with its tongue sticking out.Triumphantly BJ held the snake's limp body in the air.
"Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray!", everyone cheered. "BJ is our hero! He saved us from the deadly Cobra!".

The principal emerged from under his desk and shook BJ's hand.The firefighters gave BJ a medal.The kids gave BJ a humongous hug. Even Miss Beetlebottom woke up and waved her hanky, as if to say, "Very good BJ."

From that day on, things were different!In math class, Miss Beetlebottom asked BJ, "If two snakes follow three snakes into a hole, how many snakes are together?""FIVE!", shouted BJ, and the whole class clapped.

In story writing, Miss Beetlebottom asked the class to write about . . . not butterflies . . . but SNAKES!. BJ rattled off a five page story.
. . . The class loved it!
When it came to Projects, Speeches, and Art, everything was "Snakes! Snakes! Snakes!"But the very best was Show and Tell. Especially when it was BJ's turn. BJ brought in LIVE SNAKES!

Everyone thought the live snakes were AWESOME!.Everybody except Miss Beetlebottom, that is, who promptly went, (you guessed it)KERPLUNK!



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