Tidy Ted

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Tidy Ted's always tidy from his head to his toe, But nevertheless, Ted's a pig you know! But he brushes his teeth and washes his face, He's the cleanest of pigs in the whole piggy place!

Ted ironed his clothes and polished his shoes, And made up his bed after taking a snooze. But the most remarkable thing of all? Ted kept his room clean… from wall to wall!

Ted even ate meals with manners and grace; While the other pigs made a mess of the place! They slurped, and burped, and dribbled, and ran; But Tidy Ted ate like a true gentleman.

"What's wrong with that pig?" they'd say with a snort, "He's truly a pig of another sort!" "Our way is better! Who cares if we're clean?" "Good manners and cleaning just make us turn green!"

But Ted didn't care
what the other pigs said.
Maybe someday they'd do
things his way instead.
Then one day while
the pigs were at play,
And dressed in their usual
so-sloppy way...

Young Henry Hog tripped and fell to the ground! Behind him the others came tumbling down! Ted tried not to laugh as their faces turned red; "Perhaps you should tie your shoe-laces!" he said.

And then later on
that very same day;
Pete Pig saw a pretty sow
looking his way;

She was clean, she was neat,
and she smelled very sweet.
And she seemed to be smiling
at dirty ol' Pete!

But she suddenly turned and then smiled at Ted; "I prefer my pigs clean and tidy!" she said. "P.U! Take a bath!" she suggested to Pete; "I'm about to pass out from the smell of your feet!"

The pigs had begun to resent Tidy Ted; "Just wait! We'll teach him a lesson!" they said. And the very next day, while the pigs were at play; Ted was pushed in a puddle, where pigs made him stay!

Whenever young Ted made attempts to get out; He got pushed right back in by a big dirty snout!

"You're not tidy at all Ted!"
they said and they giggled;
And they watched as poor Ted
fought and struggled and wriggled.

But when they all saw Ted was truly upset; They decided to leave, and they left him there wet! And they laughed as they left with their snouts held up high; And when Ted made it home Well, he wanted to cry.

But he took a warm bath using plenty of bubbles; And once he was clean he forgot all his troubles. He washed all his clothes then mopped mud from the floor; And soon all was just as it all was before .

Now, even though the pigs
had been terribly cruel;
Ted still said hello
when he saw them in school.

But again they all stuck
their old snouts in the air;
And gave Ted an icey-cold,
beady-eyed stare.

And when the school bell rang to say time for lunch; The pigs all ran right out the door in a bunch!

They stumbled and fumbled
to get to the food;
With nary a thought
about acting so rude!

By the time poor Ted finally sat down to eat Almost nothing was left but a lousy ol' beet! And Ted hated beets! So he started to cry; His tummy was growling for blueberry pie!

When somebody figured out
what they had done
Teasing Ted didn't seem
to be very much fun.
Poor Ted would go hungry
with nothing to eat;
The pigs got embarrassed
and stared at their feet.

They said "We've been lazy
and jealous and mean;
Could you maybe teach us
to be tidy and clean?
We could stand to learn manners
from you Tidy Ted!
We're ashamed we were
all mean and nasty!" they said.

So Ted dried his eyes and started to smile; He said he would help, though it could take a while!
Ted forgave the pigs for all their rudeness and greed; And the rest of their other unkindly misdeeds.

And from that day forth
all the pigs were good friends;
But were they all clean?
Well I'd say that depends...
The pigs all worked hard
aimed to clean up their act;
And did very well
as a matter of fact!

But their manners and grooming are not perfect yet... Because now and again you know, pigs do forget!

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By Dyan Reynolds - Copyright 1998