Those Wretched Mo-Mos' and Those Horrible Po-Pos', written by Catherine Barrington.

Those Wretched Mo-Mos'
and Those Horrible Po-Pos'

Preface Children, this book is a fantasy not a fact, enjoy the fun scare Fact: Is a feather that you touch with your own hands Is a bird that you see with your own eyes Is an apple pie that you smell with your own nose Is a purring cat you hear with your own ears Is a fresh sweet orange you taste with your own tongue Fantasy: Is not real Is make believe Is something you read in a book Is THOSE WRETCHED MO-MOS' AND THOSE HORRIBLE PO-POS' This book is for Jewel

"You children are wonderful and I love you dearly!" Mrs. Morgan always, absolutely always said these words to her lively and dimpled twins, Charlie and Charlotte Morgan.

"You children must learn to do two things: number one, take the locks off of your ears and number two, put the zippers on your lips!"

She also always spoke these words to the twins because the duo was quite rambunctious.

You see, Charlie and Charlotte were deeply set in their own ways and had not been known to do much more than what they wanted to do at any given time. For example: the twins did not like eating their vegetables, so they did not eat them. They did not like being allergic to peanut butter sandwiches, so they ate them anyway. This is how they were; they absolutely hated being good listeners and never heard anything that anyone said to them, not ever.

"Important things! You can't hear important things if you're always talking dear hearts," their Mom declared and quickly jumped out of the way as the children charged straight towards her, faster than a speeding locomotive that was ready to jump the track.

"Hee-hee-hee-Ha-ha-ha, Yak Smackety Yip Yip!" they chattered happily and loudly.

You see, "Hee-hee-hee-Ha-ha-ha, Yak Smackety Yip Yip!" were the twins' favorite words on the planet and whenever anyone tried to talk to them they said these words over and over until the poor person gave up trying to talk to them, and just walked away.

"Listen, children. Children, please!" their mother said softly.

"Hee-hee-hee-Ha-ha-ha, Yak Smackety Yip Yip!" Their high pitched, squeaky words dashed up the walls, across the ceiling then crashed against their Mother's eardrums, nearly deafening her.

"Oh, nooo! No you don't, Charlotte and Charlie Morgan!" Mrs. Morgan screeched. She threw her hands on her head and watched in horror as the identical twins ripped through the living-room at lighting speed, pretending that they did not hear her talking.

First they bounced up and down on the couch as if it were a trampoline. Next, they yanked on the cat's tail unmercifully hard, then the agile children turned three cartwheels---knocking over and breaking the floor lamp into a thousand pieces. And lastly, Charlie and Charlotte blew giant pink bubbles larger than their own heads and swallowed their gum.

"Hee-hee-hee-Ha-ha-ha, Yak Smackety Yip Yip!" They roared so loudly that the cat dashed beneath the couch to hide his beloved striped tail that was still throbbing from the last grip of their mischievous hands.

"Locks for the ears! Zippers for the lips!" Mrs. Morgan insisted sternly, pushing a strand of hair behind her ears and taking a deep, calming breath; so that she would not blow her angry words out like a hurricane.
"You broke my favorite yellow lamp because you were running in the house again!" She said firmly. "You swallowed a big glob of pink bubble gum again, even though it will give you a tummy ache! But the thing that bothers me the most is that you pulled on poor Mufo's tail again!" She narrowed her watering eyes in disapproval and beckoned the children closer.
"I've asked you a thousand times not to do these things and you have continued to do them: but today, dimpled darlings, you must listen and I must tell you something that will save your very lives!" she told them, her voice steady and serious in sound.
"Listen, please listen! You two are in danger of being eaten, my dears!" Their Mother's strange and scary talk of being eaten made the rusty, never removed locks on the children's ears take notice, jump up and jingle, just a bit.
Cling da-ling, cling da-ling, went the rusty locks. The words of being gobbled up almost got the twins' attention, almost made them listen, almost made them stop talking , almost made them stand perfectly still. But in the blink of a sparrow's eye, they were at it again, their noise spewing like a fountain through their wide stretched mouth.
"Hee-hee-hee? Ha-ha-ha,? Yak Smackety Yip Yip? Hee-hee-hee-Ha-ha-ha, Yak Smackety Yip Yip!" They joined hands and began to dance around the room.
"STOP AND LISTEN YOU TWO!!!!!!!"
The words that came out of their Mother's mouth were loud as thunder and as big as a mountain. Charlie and Charlotte Morgan had never heard her soft, tender voice make such a big sound before. It scared them and made tiny, little zippers sprout up in the corners of their mouths; then ziggy and zaggy and zaggy and ziggy all the way up to the middle of each lip, nearly zipping them shut. But not quite shut because out hopped one, tall skinny "Yak Smackety," and one, short fat burping "YIPPPPPP."
"Promise me that you'll stay inside of the house today!" she pleaded, and suddenly jumped straight up because the living-room door blew wide open and banged against the wall with a BAMMMMMM!!!! Jarring and shaking Charlie and Charlotte's entire house like a leaf blowing in the wind.



"Promise me, you'll listen to my important words and stay inside the house today! You are in danger of being eaten!" She whispered, then ran over to the door, slammed it shut and quickly, quickly locked it! Not just the ordinary lock at the bottom but the lock with the bolt and the chain at the very top of the door.
"Danger is brewing out there!" She pointed a trembling finger towards the door, "It is brewing like hot coffee in a pot and we don't want to be burned." She warned, sitting down right beside the sprightly two. "Be still and listen for just a moment," she told them and wrapped her arms around their squirming shoulders. "Let go---Yak Smackety! Hee, hee, heee. Ha, ha, ha, lettt---gooo!" they twittered and buzzed, busy bumble bees that wanted their mother to loose them and let them fly.
"Charlie and Charlotte, you must play inside today!" their mother said urgently.
"I don't want to scare you little lambs but I heard something on the television news this morning," Mrs. Morgan explained, "It was so scary, there are big monsters on the loose! Big, hairy children eating monsters are on the loose on our sweet community!"
Her entire body and voice wobbled and shook as she spoke these important words that Charlotte and Charlie completely ignored.
There were deep, dimpled smiles on their shiny, little faces as they broke out of their mother's arms, leapt high in the air, grabbing at a pretend, invisible wind, that had blown in when the front door blew wide open and banged against the walls just minutes ago.
"Yak-Smackety-yip-Swooshy-Swooshy-swooshy Wind-Yak- Smackety- Yip-yip!" they hummed and kissed each other on the cheeks. They giggled, wiggled, jiggled, and wriggled, but listen to the talk of monsters they did not!
"These wretched, horrible monsters are called, ‘Mo-Mos' and Po-Pos‘. "Mrs. Morgan pleaded with Charlie and Charlotte to listen to her important words.
"Hee,hee,hee, hee, haa,haa,haa, haa, and Yack -Smackety-Yip-yip?" they wondered why she had not walked away as they continued to talk and pranced over to the table and picked up the remote control.
"Charlie and Charlotte! Stop talking---"
" Hee,hee,hee---" Charlie and Charlotte still talked.
"And listen!"
"These Wretched Mo-Mo's and Horrible Po-Pos' are bad uns---"
"Yak-Smackety yip---" Charlie and Charlotte still talked.
"Are enemies of children!"
"Yak-smackety---yip yip!" Charlie and Charlotte still talked.
"They see them as---"
"Hee- hee-hee-Hah-hah-hah, Yak Smackety Yip-yip!" The children screamed with merriment.
"Alright! Alright! You leave me no choice but to tell you everything---once you know this you'll be glad to listen," their mother said with certainty.
"Mo-Mos' and Po-Pos' eat pot pies! CHILDREN POT PIES!" She whispered watching the children's faces as she spoke softly to them.
"These monsters have long, sharp, dirty, tangled teeth that can bite straight through Children Pot Pies once they've cooked and browned them in their red hot oven!"
"Keep the door locked and closed children, keep the door closed and locked and stay inside of this house today," she warned the look-a-like darlings who were now as quiet and still as stones. They were standing in the middle of the floor with one arm and one leg raised, her words had stopped them right, smack dab in the middle of playing freeze tag. At long last she had their full attention: the locks were off of their ears and the zippers were all the way up tight and snug. Not one "Yak-smackety---yip, yip" could escape.
"These are a list of do nots!" She began talking as fast as she could. So fast that the twins would not be able to start their little lips to wagging until she had finished her talk of Children Eating Monsters.
DO NOT!!!!
"Do not unlock the door: Do not walk across the front porch and down the sidewalk. Do not pull open the front gate and look both ways before you cross the street and go into the meadow! Do not go out of this house today because there might be Mo-Mos' and Po-Pos' in our fresh green meadow, children. The man on television said that these sneaky creatures love meadows that are fresh and green; the better to trap tasty innocent children in!" She told them softly, seriously, looking both of them right in the middle of their wide-stretched eyes.
"Mommy, Mommy." Charlotte and Charlie spoke her name at the same time. They purred her name so softly that even the kitty crawled from beneath the couch and looked around, thinking that he'd heard another cat in the room.
"Meow-Mommy. Mommy, Mommy---Mommy-Meow?"
How the children purred!
"Yes, babies?" She melted, relieved that the spirited and lively two were at long last being good listeners and paying attention to her important words.
"Yes, tell me what are you trying to say, Darlings. Tell Mommy how you're not to go outside today. Speak to Mommy, meow-darlings."
"MOVE, MOMMY! You're in front of the television. Please move! Hee, hee, hee!"
One of them said while the other one pointed the remote control and zapped it straight through Mrs. Morgan, who was standing directly in front of the television.
"Move, please, it's time for ROOTY-TWO, our favorite squirrel, and you're standing in the way, meow-Mommy," the children purred, their voices softer than whipped butter in a bowl.
CLICK! And the television was on.
CLICK!! Mrs. Morgan turned it right back off.


"You must listen, these Mo-Mos' and Po-Pos are as bad as they come and they have the bad breath to prove it---they never brush their big, nasty, dirty, tangled teeth. They never wash their big, hairy bodies and smelly, stinky underarms."
She fanned her hand beneath her nose and made a terrible face; just at the thought of how awful the creatures smelled.
"The horrible smell of the Mo-Mos' and Po-Pos' is the worst smell on earth," she warned Charlotte and Charlie.
"Children that do not cover their noses become paralyzed and cannot runaway. You see the wretched things smell so badly that a child's legs go straight to sleep; poor things become too afraid to run away."
"Huh--- I mean yak-smackety," Charlie replied.
"I'm scared, Mommy---yip," Charlotte said.
The both of them stretched wide their eyes and stuck their thumbs in their mouth for a quick good, sucking.




"Why you darlings, haven't sucked your thumbs since you were three," she told them tenderly, placing Charlotte and Charlie on her lap and giving each a soft, comforting kiss on the cheek. "I know you're frightened children, I hated to put it to you this way, telling you so much about the monsters but it was the only way that you would listen!"
Their mother turned and clicked the television back on.
YOU MAYS'
"Here is a list of You Mays'
You may go to the fridge and take one fruit bar each, as long as you promise to brush your teeth afterwards, and you may sit down and watch Rooty-Two," she informed.
"These things, you may do. But, remember you may not go outside of this house today," she said solemnly looking them over. With her important words made clear, she walked upstairs to give their baby brother, Enroy, some attention. He had just awakened from his nap and was crying because he was hungry, wet, and would need a bath.
As soon as Mrs. Morgan disappeared up the stairs; Rooty-two, their favorite squirrel, appeared on the television screen.
"We've seen that Rooty-Twoooooooooo, cartoooooooooooon before and we don't want to see it again, do we?" Charlie and Charlotte asked each other with a pout.
With nothing being on television to watch, they thought of a few other things that they might do to have fun and three things came to mind.
1) They could watch their goldfish: Jasper, Jarvis and Janis swimming around in the aquarium; busily chasing each other and diving merrily from the tall castle window in their large, bright, underwater home.



"BIG NOPE YAK-SMACKETY-YIP-YIP," they agreed.
2) They could go to the game and puzzle cabinet, pull out the 100 piece puzzle of dancing bears and typing monkeys.
"BIG NOPE YAK-SMACKETY-YIP-YIP," they agreed.
3) They could make clay dough kangaroos while listening to their favorite nursery rhymes on the CD player.
"BIG NOPE YAK-SMACKETY-YIP-YIP," they agreed and stuck out their bottom lips as gloomy as could be.





They both tried to remember what their mother had said to them before she went upstairs. What could they do and what could they not do? Both agreed that she had said they could have frozen fruit bars and that was all that they remembered because that was all that they heard and maybe that was all that she had said.
They sucked up their fruit bars like hungry vacuum cleaners and decided to go outside. There was absolutely no reason on earth why they should not go outside, today, right?
They asked each other this question and rushed to the window to look out at the meadow across the road. This is what they saw.
What a beautiful, perfect day! The sky was as blue as a robin's egg; the sun was the color of the sweet oranges in the bowl on the kitchen table. If that wasn't enough, a big, black speckled butterfly swooped past the window, then landed in the lush green thickets across the road.
"Out--side, out--side to the meadow we goooo! Hee-hee, haa-haa!" Charlie and Charlotte said rushing to the closet to take out their butterfly nets. The twins knew just what they'd do for great fun.
Was there any reason why they should not go out into the meadow to catch butterflies in their nets on such a beautiful day? They stretched their curious eyes at each other, wondering the answer to just that question. Had their mother said anything about not going outside? Today?
The only thing that the twins could remember about going outside was that they were going outside to catch butterflies with their butterfly net in the fresh green meadow across the street. The only thing that they could remember about the butterfly net and meadow across the street was what she had said about "You may play with the butterflies in the meadow as long as you are very gentle with their wings."
She had said these words when they first got their nets for their birthdays, a long time ago, like last year; but what had she said today?
With a jump, a trot, a skip and a hop they were at the front door and unlocked the bottom lock. They pulled on the door handle but it would not open. The top lock, which was only on at night, was on in the afternoon! Do you know why it is on?
Charlie and Charlotte looked at each other with that very question in mind. With rusty locks always covering their ears and never any zippers for their lips--they could not remember what their mother had told them at all about the front door. So they went about the business of unlocking it.


Charlie grabbed the stool in the corner, Charlotte slid it over to the door, Charlie held the stool still with his hands to keep it from wobbling, and Charlotte climbed up on it and unlocked the top lock. The front door swung open and a smell that was somewhat awful hung heavily in the air outside.
What in the world could be so smelly? The matching children twisted up their cute little noses and frowned at each other with that very question in mind.
Slowly, they walked across the porch, down the sidewalk, opened the front gate, looked both ways and trotted across the street to the edge of the beautiful green meadow. Charlotte and Charlie did not step into the meadow. Not yet!! They had the feeling that some important words were tucked away somewhere in the very back of their minds.
Should they go in? Had they forgotten something important? They looked at each other with those very questions in mind and stepped into the meadow.


The moment that their feet touched the soft, green grass, it was clear to them that something was different with their lovely meadow---something was on going on here!!!
Why was everything as dark as a storm cloud? Where were the apple colored red birds?
Where were the lemon yellow, and blueberry colored birds that always sung Charlie and Charlotte's names from the top of the tall tree tops?
Where were the big, soft, slow, floating butterflies that sat on top of the long, pencil --skinny flowers, just waiting to be caught?
"Most very strange---yak smackety," they said and grabbed hands and held on so tightly that their fingers started to hurt.
Why did everything in the sweet, green meadow smell as rotten as the muck-yucky at the bottom of their trashcan? No! No! It was worse than the muck-yucky at the bottom of their trash can. The smell was worse than that; it smelled worse than the cat's litter box when they had forgotten to empty it.
No, no, it smelled worse than a thousand of Enroy's dirty diapers!
"Most definitely, hee-hee!" they agreed and started their walk through the meadow.
The bad smell was absolutely wretched, it was horrible!!!


Suddenly, their mother's words stepped from behind the back of their minds.
"STAY INSIDE!! DON'T GO TO THE MEADOW, TODAY!"
The rusty locks dropped right off of their ears. CLING-DA LING! CLING-DA-LING!
The locks hit the ground.
ZIP-ZAG! ZAGGY-ZIPPY! ZAG-ZIP! ZIPPY-ZAG!!
The zippers on their lips were quickly closing, the only words that had time to slip out were, "THOSE WRETCHED MO-MOS' AND THOSE HORRIBLE PO-POS'!!!
And---"
"Runnnnnnn!" Charlie shouted.
"Runnnnnnn!" Charlotte yelled.



But it was too late, it was just too late! THEIR memories of important words spoken by their mother had come into their memory too late. Those Wretched Mo-mos' and those Horrible Po-pos' were standing right in front of them and it was too late to cover their noses. Their bad breath and their big ugly faces, and long crooked teeth had scared their legs so badly that they could not move them at all! Their legs were paralyzed! Their legs were fast asleep!
"CHILDREN POT PIE!" The Mo-Mos' and Po-Pos' said happily and licked their sticky, dripping lips. They were as hungry as hungry could be and started to rub their big, saggy, empty stomachs.
"We were so hoping you'd come out here to the meadow today because we were leaving tomorrow----HARR!!!HARR!!! HARR!!!" The big, scary things laughed and swooped up the twins in their, sticky, never-ever washed, or touched by water, hairy arms.
The monsters took them to their dreary house, which was right behind the meadows.
"Oh, no, noooooooooo!" Charlotte yelled.
"Don't put us in that!" Charlie shouted.
The children began to cry as the mean, yellow-eyed things dropped them into a freshly rolled piecrust that was deep as a bathtub and as wide as a dinner table.



There were six of the monsters all together, three Mo-Mos' and three Po-Pos.' The six hungry monsters were ready to eat.
"Rooooooooooarrr! Roooooar!" The creatures' stomachs were making the roaring sounds of a lion and the children could hear them.
"How do you like your Children Potpie, soggy or crispy?" The Wretched MO-MOS' asked the Horrible PO-POS.'
"I like my pie quite crispy---uuuuup-uuuuup," came the answer. The smelly, slimy-lipped thing had the hiccups.
"UUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP!" He said, walking slowly towards the big pan of dough that held the frightened children.
"Don't come over here! Leave us alone!" Charlotte and Charlie begged pitifully from the bottom of the piecrust where they lay covered in flour: two, large tender drumsticks, waiting to be seasoned and baked.
"Plenty of pepper! Not too much salt in the pie! Garlic and lots of gravy!" They laughed and drooled.
The children could not see what the creatures were doing on the other side of the room yet they knew that the bad---unns were planning to get them in the oven quickly. They could hear them banging heavy pots, rattling forks, spoons and knives.
"Make sure it's hot enough to bake ‘em through and through, fast and fast!" One hollered in a shaky, scraggly voice.


Charlotte and Charlie could feel the scorching hot, heat as one of the monsters opened the stove door.
The children's eyes were full and running over with tears. The very thought of being baked to a crispy crunch made them do nothing but cry.
Now, if there was one thing on the planet that Charlie and Charlotte could do louder and better than say, "Hee-hee-hee-ha-ha-ha Yak Smackety-Yip-yip!"
They had a particular talent for crying buckets of tears when they were upset and Charlie and Charlotte had never been more upset than now, when they were about to be baked into a pie.
They began to cry hard, loud, and fast; their eyes started to rain thousands of tears!
There were so many tears that the piecrust was filling up with water, and the children were rising slowly and floating surely to the top.


The Mo-Mos' and Po-Pos' could hear the children sniffling but they had no idea that the children were crying a river inside of the piecrust. Eating and baking children was all that the monsters could think of and could think of nothing else.
The large, hungry, shaggy monsters grabbed bright red paper napkins from the cabinet, ate half of the napkin and tied the other half around their hungry, necks; eagerly waiting to eat the children.
"Hurry, hurry,hurry!" They screamed to each other as they stumped and bumped along the kitchen: filling up their nasty, smelly arms with biscuits and butter, beans and jelly on giant polka dot plates that were as big as bed pillows.
"The oven is ready-upppppppp, upppppppp!" shouted the Po-Po who always had the hiccups.
"We don't want to be eaten!" Charlotte pleaded.
"We don't want to be baked!" Charlie whined and the children cried harder and louder than they'd ever cried before in their whole lives.
"Be quiet children, it is time for the oven!" With those unkind and unfriendly words spoken, three Mo-Mos' and three Po-Pos' headed for the gigantic piecrust.
It was time to lift it up and pop it in the red-hot oven. Quite steadily, they propped their long, fur fringed hands on the corner of the crust and were just about to lift it up.


"NOOOOOOOOO!" Three Mo-Mo's screamed.
"Please NOOOOOOOOOO!" Three Po-Pos' started to shake and speak in very scared voices. All of the monsters had their mouths stretched wide with fear. They shook and trembled, as they looked at the clear, clean, shimmering water that filled the soggy, white piecrust.
"You children stop this crying, you are making too much water with your tears and we Mo-Mos' and Po-Pos' are afraid of water! STOP! STOP! CRYING!" The things ordered, throwing their spotted plates to the floor and dropping their biscuits at their ankles.
"We are very allergic to water!!!"
The Mo-Mos' and Po-Pos' were allergic to water. This was why they smelled so yucky and never took a bath and never brushed their long, sharp, dirty, tangled teeth.
"Be quiet and let us put you in the stove!" They shouted, opening their sharp toothed mouth, bucking their mean yellow eyes, and stretching their hands towards the children; trying desperately to pick them up and shove them in the oven.
"Now, look what you have done to us!" They screeched, as the children kicked and splashed and the pie crust burst wide open and a wave of fresh, warm, tear water completely covered each of the Wretched Mo-Mos' and Horrible Po-Pos' from head to toe. How they dripped, how they cringed and how they disappeared.
Not one drop of Mo-Mo and Po-Po meanness was left behind.



Charlotte and Charlie ran through the meadow, looked both ways, crossed the street, yanked wide the gate, dashed up the sidewalk, skipped across the porch, opened the door and slammed it behind them.
"Are you children alright down there and why do you have flour on your faces?"
Their mother stood at the top of the stairs with Enroy in her arms. He'd just finished his lunch of strained carrots and strained plums. It was all over his hair, shirt, and face. And he was about to get a nice, warm, sudsy bath.
"Would you like to help me bathe your brother?" She asked the twins as she walked down the stairs.
"You may help me only if you're going to be good listeners." She said firmly.
"We promise to listen." They purred as soft as a cat, and reached down, picked up Mufo softly and promised him never to pull his tail again.


"You children are wonderful and I love you dearly." Mrs. Morgan said softly.

Those Wretched Mo-Mos' and Those Horrible Po-Pos'

                                                                       THE END