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Politically Correct SeaCows

Tuesday, 12 June 2012


Politically Correct SeaCows

Amanda Grey and her family, and her three best friends, (A.G. Bear, Isadora LeChat and Mrs. Duck) were on their way to visit Amanda's Grandma. It was the third day of their journey.
I see a windmill, I get a lollipop!, shouted A.G. Bear.
Isadora wrinkled her nose at him. I saw it first, she pouted.
Miss Amanda's Mommy was driving today. Miss Amanda's Daddy, who had cast wary glances back at Mrs. Duck for much of the morning, had a vague headache. Mindful of his duties to keep the troops entertained, however, he had come up with the game "I Spy" (alternately known as "I See A Windmill"), in which the winner of each round was presented with a small prize, when they managed to spy the object of the current game's quest. 
Miss Amanda had won the previous round by being the first to spy a big red barn, and she had been rewarded with a coloring book and a small box of crayons.
When Miss Amanda announced that A.G. had been the first to spot the windmill, Miss Amanda's Daddy, who had been resting his eyes, dutifully held a red lollipop over his head, waving it in the general direction of the back seat.
Thank you, replied a tiny voice, as two furry little paws removed the lollipop from Miss Amanda's Daddy's hand.


For the next game, Miss Amanda's Daddy decided that they should look for a car with a Florida license tag containing a picture of a Manatee.
What's a Manatee? asked A.G. Bear.

Ummm...Sea Cow, replied Amanda, as she urgently pressed her nose against the window, intently studying the license tags of cars going in both directions.
I see a cow!, announced A.G. excitedly, I win!.

Not COW, said Isadora Le Chat, SEACow!.
I already SEE one, insisted A.G. Bear.
SEACow!, SEACow!, SEACow!, shouted Isadora Le Chat in exasperation.
I - ALREADY
SAW--ONE!!!,

said A.G. Bear.


He turned to Mrs. Duck for confirmation, And I get the prize, right?
Not exactly, dear, explained Mrs. Duck. What we're looking for, is a Manatee, which is sometimes known as a Sea Cow.
I SAW a cow, said A.G. Bear, stubbornly, and folded his little paws over his chest. 
Isadora Le Chat slapped herself on the forehead and fell to the seat, with all four paws in the air, playing dead.
Isadora, love, pleaded Mrs. Duck, Spare us the theatrics and help me explain this to A.G.

Isadora righted herself. I'll probably need a crayon, she grumbled sarcastically.
Isadora!!, warned Mrs. Duck.
Yes, ma'am, mumbled Isadora.

Come over here A.G., she said, patting the seat next to her. I'll show you what a Manatee looks like.

I thought you were going to show me a Sea Cow, A.G. sulked.
They're the SAME THING, A.G!. Now come over here!, commanded Isadora Le Chat.
A.G. Bear. scooted over next to Isadora, who promptly turned to the blank back page of Miss Amanda's coloring book, and extracted a crayon from the new box of Crayolas™. 

Here, she said a few moments later, pointing to her sketch, This is what a Sea Cow looks like. I thought you were going to draw a Manatee, A.G. insisted.
Isadora groaned.
A.G.!, she howled, Just look at the picture!.
Manatees are PURPLE???, gasped A.G. Bear in surprise.
No, silly!. They're sort of an oooky brownish green, said Isadora.
Then why didn't you make it the right color?, demanded A.G. Bear.
Because these people make politically correct colors, they don't make oooky-brownish-green Sea Cow colors!, Isadora shouted.
What's "Politically Correct"?, asked A.G. Bear.
Nobody has the vaguest idea, stated Isadora, flatly.
Are Sea Cows Republicans or Democrats?, A.G. asked.
What are you TALKING about, A.G.???, Isadora shouted in exasperation.
You just said that Sea Cows were not Politically Correct and that's why there's no Oooky-Brownish-Green in the crayon box, explained A.G. Bear.
Isadora groaned and fell over in her play dead mode again. 

Mrs. Duck,
 she moaned, Help me out here, would you?

Mrs. Duck leaned over and looked at Isadora Le Chat's sketch of a Manatee.

Quite accurate, she nodded, But I think you forgot the whiskers, dear, she said.
Sea Cows have WHISKERS? asked A.G. Bear in amazement.
Yes, dear, answered Mrs. Duck, ...and they live in brackish water....
What's THAT?, demanded A.G. Bear. ..ooops, he said. Excuse me for interrupting.
You're excused, said Mrs. Duck.
What's brackish water?, A.G. tried again.

Well, it's sort of a cross between fresh water and salt water,
 Mrs.Duck explained.
What COLOR is it?, A.G. Bear persisted.
Hmmmmmm....Mrs. Duck pondered. Sort of an oooky-brownish-green, I should think, she replied.
Let me understand this, said A.G. Bear. Sea Cows are actually Manatees?
  That's right, said Mrs. Duck.

They're an endangered species, she continued. They're friendly, but slow, and they often get hit by boats because they can't get out of the way fast enough. That's why the speed limit signs in the canals tell boaters to go very, very slowly. 
That's a good idea!, agreed A.G. Bear. But they're not purple, right? , he insisted.

No dear, they're sort of an oooky-brownish-green. And they live in brackish water that's....
....that's Oooky-brownish-green!, I KNOW!, finished A.G. Bear, excitedly.
Great, A.G., you’ve finally got it!, congratulated Isadora.
In that case please pass me some paper and the box of crayons, A.G. Bear requested.

Whatever for?, inquired Mrs. Duck.
I’m going to write to those people at the crayon factory and tell them we need oooky-brownish-green colored crayons so we can draw Manatees,, said A.G. firmly.


Isadora and Mrs. Duck pondered the look on A.G. Bear’s determined little face for a moment.
Good idea!, they said.
Dear Mr. Crayon Person
began A.G. Bear’s letter
Sea Cows aren’t purple
They’re oooky-brownish-green!

And when you’re in a boat
Look out!
They’re rarely ever seen!


The signs you see
Say Manatee.....
It’s just another name,
For friends who float
Beneath the boat,
They’re both one and the same!
They move slo-o-o-wly as
The Turtle,
But they’re never EVER Purple!
The Manatee’s
Own color scheme
Is Oooky-Brownish-Green!

and the letter was signed,
Love, A.G. Bear



Adventures of A.G. Bear
Cat Tales, Book 2- No Matter Where You Go....There You Are!

By Cynthia Gurin - Copyright 1994 - 2009

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