George. Or not.

GEORGE. Or not.

 

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Once upon a time there was a boy named George. George was a very adventurous and curious boy and was always pretending to be someone or something other than himself.

He even had a song that he sang all day long about being someone or something other than himself. His song went like this:
I wanna be a cowboy
I wanna be a cow
I wanna be a horsie
I wanna be an owl
I wanna be a flower
I wanna be a tree

I wanna be I wanna be Anything but me

I wanna be a fireman
I wanna be a cop
I wanna be a toaster
I wanna be a top
I wanna be a speedboat
I wanna be a flea

I wanna be I wanna be Anything but me

Now why George would want to be a toaster is beyond me but that's how his song goes.

We all know that it's a great and wonderful thing to have an imagination. But, sometimes our imaginations can go a little too far and we end up in a situation that gets us in trouble. Therein lies George's problem, he was always getting himself into trouble.

For example, one day George was buzzing around the neighborhood pretending to be a mosquito. As he flew around the corner, here came old Mrs. Jones. George flew by her, made a sharp turn to the right and bit her on the back of her leg. Mrs. Jones let out a yell like you wouldn't believe. In fact, she yelled so loud it brought George back to reality and he knew he was in trouble. But, before he could get away, Mrs. Jones grabbed him by the ear, took him into her house and called the police.

All the way home in the police car he sang:

I wanna be a cowboy
I wanna be a cow
I wanna be a horsie
I wanna be an owl
I wanna be a flower
I wanna be a tree

I wanna be I wanna be Anything but me

I wanna be a fireman
I wanna be a cop
I wanna be a toaster
I wanna be a top
I wanna be a speedboat
I wanna be a flea

I wanna be I wanna be Anything but me

There's that toaster thing again.

When he got home, George's mother and father were not too happy with him but they tried to be good modern parents and explain to him that there was nothing wrong with pretending to be a mosquito but he couldn't bite because that was the thing that was bad about mosquitos. But George just couldn't understand how you could be a mosquito if you didn't bite.

Of course, we all know that George is going to have something happen to him that is going to teach him that he really does not want to be someone or something other than himself. We know that because that is how these stories always go. And this is how George's story went:

That weekend, George and his family went camping in the woods. George was so excited because there would be endless things he could be in the woods other than himself. When they got there, he spent all day pretending to be everything he saw. That evening when it was time for dinner George was pretending to be the stump of an old tree in the woods. Of course, stumps don't eat food so George sat there just like that old stump and wouldn't eat his dinner. George's mother and father were not too happy with him and sent him off to bed before anyone else. Poor George, in trouble once again.

During the night George was awakened by a loud noise. Being the adventurous and curious boy that he is, he got up to see what it was. As he was wandering into the woods looking for the noise, he suddenly realized he could not see the camp anymore. He was lost.

Now adventurous, curious and overactive imaginations are great and wonderful things, but being lost is none of those things. For the first time in his young life George was scared. He sat down under a tree by the lake and tried to pretend to be a bear so he would not be scared, but all the strange noises that come from the woods at night were just too much for George's imagination and he just couldn't conjure up that bear.

George began to cry.

Of course, as soon as George's family realized he was gone they began to look for him. They searched the woods far and wide calling his name. When George heard someone calling his name, he jumped up from under the tree by the lake and began running toward the sound of his name. All of a sudden he saw his father. He yelled "Dad, here I am!" But when his father looked in the direction of the sound all he saw was an owl.

Now we all know owls can't talk, so what George's father heard was a hoot.

"Oh, I thought it was George" said his father, "but it's just an owl."

Then Little George saw his mother coming from another direction. Little George ran toward her yelling "Mom, here I am!" But when his mother looked in the direction of the sound all she saw was a speedboat sitting on the lake. 
Now what is it we all know? Speedboats can't talk. So all George's mother heard was a motor running. 

"Do you see him?" asked George's father. "No" said his mother. "It's just a speedboat on the lake."

George was really scared now. He realized they were never going to find him because he was someone or something other than himself.

He began to yell as loud as he could "I want to be me, I want to be me!"

The next thing George knew, his mother and father were standing over him.

"George, wake up! You're having a bad dream," said his father.

Now this is the point in the story where George learned his lesson about wanting to be someone or something other than himself all the time. He was awfully happy that he was George, and he was really hungry too.

After a large midnight snack, George went back to sleep and didn't dream anything at all. He was just too tired, and too full to even dream.

The next day when they left to go home, he sang all the way.

I don't wanna be a cowboy
I don't wanna be a cow
I don't wanna be a horsie
I don't wanna be an owl
I don't wanna be a flower
I don't wanna be a tree

I don't wanna be I don't wanna be Anything but me

I don't wanna be a fireman
I don't wanna be a cop
I don't wanna be a toaster
I don't wanna be a top
I don't wanna be a speedboat
I don't wanna be a flea

I don't wanna be I don't wanna be Anything but me.

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Oh, by the way, George did not grow up to be a toaster.

GEORGE. OR NOT. - By Sharon Campbell - Copyright 1999